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The United States has 5,244 nuclear weapons,\h
and a whole bunch of different ways to move\h\h

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them. Some can be fired from the ground, others\h
from submarines. Some can be dropped from planes,\h\h

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and others are just collecting dust. But all\h
of these systems for moving nuclear weapons are\h\h

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systems for deploying them; as in, that’s how\h
we move them from here, in Montana, to here,\h\h

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where the bad people are—but what about when we\h
need to transport nuclear weapons without blowing\h\h

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them up? Well, it turns out that moving a warhead\h
from one part of the United States to another is,\h\h

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like, a whole thing, so… you know\h
the drill: we’ll explain the thing,\h\h

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and then we’ll tell you to go buy something, and\h
then about 2% of you will buy it, and then I will\h\h

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give my writer Ben some money to go buy more\h
croissants, which he needs to live. Here we go.\h

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Nuclear warheads in the United States live\h
here: in the 450-or-so missile silos in Montana,\h\h

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Wyoming, Colorado, Nebraska, and North Dakota,\h
with a few spread out in other states. But,\h\h

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throughout their lives, these warheads also\h
sometimes need to be here, here, here, here,\h\h

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here, here, or here. And at this point, you\h
probably have the same question that I did when I\h\h

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started writing this video: “Why, exactly, are we\h
moving nuclear warheads in the first place? It’s\h\h

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not like we’re using them. This must only happen,\h
like, every few decades.” And you’d be right,\h\h

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if you just replaced “every few decades” with\h
“several times a week,” which I guess means that\h\h

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you weren’t very right at all. The US Department\h
of Energy moves warheads all the time, and it is\h\h

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precisely because we aren’t doing anything with\h
them that they have to be moved so often; you see,\h\h

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the delicious plutonium center of every nuclear\h
warhead has an expiration date—a point past which\h\h

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it won’t detonate reliably—and the problem is…\h
we don’t really know when that expiration date\h\h

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is. So instead of rolling the dice on World War 3,\h
the Department of Energy has started the process\h\h

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of recycling and replacing the plutonium in each\h
of these warheads, and that means bringing them\h\h

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from their silos to one of these locations for\h
disassembly, reassembly, maintenance, or testing.\h

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But the question is: how do you get a warhead from\h
here to here—safely—multiple times a week? Surely,\h\h

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we don’t just… bring a nuclear bomb onto a public\h
interstate highway, and… no… we do do that,\h\h

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don’t we? Yes, in fact, here is a map of\h
the interstates that the Department of\h\h

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Energy uses to transport their warheads—but\h
it’s not quite that simple because bringing\h\h

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a nuclear bomb onto a public interstate\h
highway requires a carefully coordinated\h\h

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operation that is almost entirely classified,\h
except for the fact that this Department\h\h

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of Energy nuclear warhead transportation\h
training video ended up on YouTube somehow,\h\h

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and now I can tell you exactly how it works.
The warhead itself is first loaded into one\h\h

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of these. “I know about those,” you might\h
be saying. “That’s called a truck.” But oh,\h\h

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dear, simple viewer, you have once again been\h
fooled by the US Department of Energy Office of\h\h

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Secure Transportation, because that is no simple\h
truck, that is a US Safeguards Transporter, and\h\h

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this grainy picture is actually one of the only\h
verified photos of one in existence. While they’re\h\h

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designed to look like a typical 18-wheeler—with no\h
recognizable markings and an uniformed driver—they\h\h

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are anything but. The entire truck is bulletproof,\h
with 12-inch steel doors, invulnerable tires,\h\h

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and can sit directly in the middle of a fuel\h
fire for up to 60 minutes without the cargo\h\h

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taking any damage. The axles will explode if an\h
attacker tries to tow it, and the entire trailer\h\h

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will fill itself with rapidly-expanding foam if\h
the truck goes off-axis. It’s also equipped with\h\h

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various ways to kill you, the details of which the\h
Department of Energy still refuses to disclose,\h\h

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though independent journalists have found good\h
evidence for at least two: it can electrocute\h\h

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you to death, and, by reading through the DOE’s\h
contract with an Australian arms manufacturer from\h\h

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2005, we’re pretty sure that it has a robotic\h
40-millimeter turret that is designed to,\h\h

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“distribute large quantities of ammunition\h
over a large area in an extremely short time\h\h

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frame.” So, no, it’s not really a truck.
But even with its fancy foams and turrets,\h\h

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this truck-looking-thing is only one part of\h
moving the warhead. Every safeguards transporter\h\h

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moves as part of a convoy, alongside two to three\h
other unmarked and armored emergency response\h\h

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vehicles—one of which acts as the convoy’s\h
command center—and aerial support, which can\h\h

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conduct surveillance, or, like every other part\h
of the convoy, kill you super dead. Each one of\h\h

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these vehicles is operated by armed OST agents,\h
which is a federal agency that you’re probably\h\h

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not familiar with, but all you really need to know\h
is that you probably shouldn’t try to steal one of\h\h

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their cars; every single one of these agents has Q\h
clearance—the highest level of clearance that the\h\h

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Department of Energy can issue—and they also have\h
the authority to directly enforce 28 federal laws,\h\h

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most of which allow them to, you guessed it,\h
kill you. These agents can also—in the event\h\h

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of an emergency—create what’s called a “National\h
Security Area,” which essentially allows them to\h\h

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put any non-federal land in the United States\h
under the control of the Department of Energy,\h\h

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regardless of who owns it. So these\h
agents—empowered to kill you and steal\h\h

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your house—escort the safeguards transporter\h
along a classified, predetermined route,\h\h

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which is monitored at all times by the Emergency\h
Control Center in Albuquerque; this center is\h\h

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responsible for contacting all of the local law\h
enforcement departments along the route to give\h\h

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them a sort of… vague message about a “special\h
mission” that they’re not allowed to know\h\h

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about and definitely shouldn’t mess with. In the\h
event that local police do encounter the convoy,\h\h

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tensions might be a little high, given that both\h
parties have guns and one of them has a nuclear\h\h

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bomb, so the Emergency Control Center can give\h
both parties what’s called a “sign-countersign,”\h\h

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where the police state a codeword and the OST\h
agents respond with another codeword. And all\h\h

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of these elements and procedures need to come\h
together flawlessly in order to get the cargo\h\h

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from point A to point B, so it’s a good thing\h
that our nuclear warheads are in the hands of\h\h

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an agency that truly does not mess around… unless\h
you consider “drinking on the job” messing around,\h\h

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or “threatening to kill each other” messing\h
around, or “being severely understaffed and\h\h

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not having the money for weapons training anymore”\h
messing around, but they sure don’t seem so, and\h\h

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I’m not in the business of disagreeing with people\h
who, again, can legally kill me and take my house.\h

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Anyway, it would seem that I have once again\h
written a video that probably would not be\h\h

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possible if I were not using NordVPN—and it’s\h
not just because Nord encrypted and anonymized\h\h

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my internet connection when I was googling “how\h
to transport nuclear bomb” and “how to hijack\h\h

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Department of Energy emergency response vehicle,”\h
but also because it enabled me to do a lot of\h\h

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research on sites that I might have not otherwise\h
had access to. Lately, for my other channel,\h\h

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I’ve been traveling in Europe, and back in 2018,\h
the EU rolled out a whole new set of internet\h\h

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regulations to protect European citizens’ data,\h
but instead of complying with those regulations,\h\h

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a lot of American websites just take the easy\h
route and block all of Europe instead. Normally,\h\h

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there would be no way for me to use those sites\h
until I got back to the US, but with Nord,\h\h

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I was just one click away from changing\h
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ease. And better yet, Nord ensured that\h
all of my research was completely safe\h\h

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it’s easy to connect to the wrong network\h
and lose your data, your files, or even your\h\h

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identity. So if you use the internet while you\h
travel, or even anywhere outside of your home,\h\h

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