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I have a theory: most of us wouldn’t last a day\h
without electricity. You wouldn’t be able to get\h\h

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to—or log onto—work or school; your perishable\h
foods would perish; and if you were bored,\h\h

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you couldn’t just pull up an HAI video; you’d\h
have to wait for me to come to town and whisper\h\h

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you sweet nothings about airline logistics, or\h
worse, read a book. For most of us, living in\h\h

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modern society without modern conveniences would\h
be a nightmare. But that’s just because most of\h\h

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us aren’t Amish. And if you are Amish, put that\h
phone down, Ezekiel! It’s unbecoming! Though we\h\h

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imagine the Amish as totally shunning electricity,\h
technology, and a good time, the truth is more\h\h

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complicated. In today’s interconnected economy,\h
permanent isolation from the modern world is\h\h

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impractical, so the Amish rely on surprisingly\h
complex electricity-free and electricity-lite\h\h

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technology solutions to make it work. So how\h
exactly do Amish communities navigate the modern\h\h

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world with as little electricity as possible?
All those guys and gals driving horse-drawn\h\h

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carriages are part of the Old Order\h
Amish-Mennonite church, which originated\h\h

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in Europe as a Mennonite sect with a guy named\h
Jakob Ammann—who believed shunning individuals\h\h

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was good for them, and that lying should result\h
in banishment from the church. Shockingly,\h\h

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other people in Europe didn’t vibe with that,\h
probably because of how much they loved lying\h\h

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and hanging out with sinners. So when William Penn\h
founded a colony based on religious tolerance, the\h\h

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Amish immigrated to Pennsylvania in droves. Their\h
self-imposed separation reflects an extension of\h\h

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the Mennonites’ New Testament-heavy philosophy:\h
that they’re pilgrims whose journeys must exist\h\h

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outside of modern society to redeem themselves\h
after Adam and Eve’s big party foul in the Garden\h\h

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of Eden. Basically, suffer now, get into heaven\h
later. And this philosophy formed the Amish’s\h\h

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central tenets: humility, forgiveness, brotherly\h
love, nonresistance, and submission, which\h\h

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each 75-person Amish enclave codifies in their\h
community’s “ordnung”—the German word for order,\h\h

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and the Amish word for super-esoteric rules. Since\h
the Amish religion is decentralized, each group is\h\h

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autonomous, which means there are thousands\h
of communities all with slightly different\h\h

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ordnungs that dictate if, where, when, and how\h
members can use electricity or modern appliances.\h

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Generally speaking, though, the Amish ban\h
the use of electricity from the common grid,\h\h

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along with lame activities like going to school\h
past eighth grade, joining the military, and\h\h

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initiating a divorce, because as the Lord says:\h
school is for nerds, the military is for jocks,\h\h

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and marriage is forever. But, there’s a growing\h
faction of Amish people who build furniture or\h\h

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sell food to non-Amish people, and who want\h
to know if the money’s really greener beyond\h\h

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the commune. So, to get past Ordnungs, there’s an\h
entire cottage industry that manufactures bespoke,\h\h

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low-voltage Amish technology. Wanna know what\h
one of its most popular inventions is? Nope,\h\h

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not a bot that churns out hot romance novels like\h
Happily Ever Amish, The Mysterious Amish Nanny,\h\h

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or the more-to-the-point In Love with\h
the Amish Nanny. It’s an Amish computer!\h\h

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While it does run on electricity, it uses a\h
battery pack instead of a wall plug, getting\h\h

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around the no-electric-grid-electricity rule. It\h
doesn’t have Internet, games, video, or music,\h\h

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though it does have a Clippy-free word processor\h
and a spreadsheet generator. That is to say, this\h\h

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invention streamlines typing and accounting, and\h
makes running an Amish business more efficient.\h\h

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After all, if God wanted you crunching your own\h
numbers, he’d let you stay in school past eighth\h\h

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grade. To get around that pesky electric grid\h
rule, some Amish communities have adopted giant\h\h

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water wheels and wind turbines to power and heat\h
their homes. There’s also a wide range of power\h\h

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tools that rely on compressed air, rather than\h
electricity, that some Amish communities have\h\h

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adopted. They’re called “pneumatic tools” and\h
they operate via air compressors: say Jeremiah’s\h\h

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building this two thousand dollar Amish TV stand.\h
He’ll hook up an air compressor to the coupler on\h\h

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the bottom of his pneumatic power drill via hose.\h
When the air enters the drill, it travels through\h\h

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a pneumatic motor which converts the air’s energy\h
into mechanical work. And bada-bing bada-boom:\h\h

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TV stand. Drills, saws, table saws; if\h
it can help Jeremiah build your TV stand,\h\h

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someone’s engineered an electricity-free,\h
hot-air alternative. Just don’t put a TV\h\h

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on there while he’s around, it’s tacky.
But more and more, Amish people are just\h\h

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blatantly using technology to survive and thrive.\h
And before you post your angry comment about why\h\h

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I’m wrong about that, let me say this: each\h
Amish community, and therefore, each ordnung,\h\h

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differs, but the general trend has been towards\h
relaxing their electricity rules while still\h\h

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upholding other tenets of their community. See,\h
it’s all about humility: if you're not posting\h\h

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thirst traps on main or blabbing on the phone at\h
Amish Bible study, then arguably, you're being\h\h

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humble about using your phone. It just depends!\h
We're talking about a religion like no other:\h\h

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it has no hierarchy, no obvious overarching\h
structure, basically just a bunch of decentralized\h\h

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nodes all reliant on each other for community and\h
survival. The thing is, accepting credit cards at\h\h

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farm stands and advertising your fine furniture\h
online creates more economic opportunity. And\h\h

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while it's imperative that they remain the\h
shining city on the hill Jesus told them to be,\h\h

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it’s just as important to keep the city alive\h
for generations—which is exactly what dipping\h\h

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their toes in technology allows them\h
to do. So if, a few years from now,\h\h

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you see Amish tweens starting carriage-core\h
Tik Tok trends, they’re not abandoning\h\h

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their community… they’re just sustaining it.
And I’m sure you, as a member of our mainstream,\h\h

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technology-dependent society in 2023, are pretty\h
busy. Between working, watching Netflix, and\h\h

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hanging out with friends, it can be tough to fit\h
in things like exercising or eating well—in fact,\h\h

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I’m sure most of you who wanted to do more\h
exercising and eating healthy for your New\h\h

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Year’s resolutions have already given up\h
on them. And while I would never tell you\h\h

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to put your phone down and jog, I’m happy to\h
tell you about HelloFresh. HelloFresh takes\h\h

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all the stuff you don’t like about cooking\h
out of the equation—which means no planning,\h\h

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no standing in long grocery store lines, and no\h
hassle whatsoever. I’ve been using them for years\h\h

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to make healthy, chef-recommended meals in my own\h
kitchen—and I have the recipe cards to prove it.\h\h

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HelloFresh makes it so easy to cook tasty meals,\h
and it’s cheaper than getting food delivered or\h\h

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buying takeout, with more than 40 weekly recipes\h
to choose from. Plus, their ingredients travel\h\h

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days, which means you’re getting fresh, quality\h\h

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so no matter what mood you’re in, or\h
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So make a healthy step towards your New Year’s\h\h

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